Heal My Gut

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OD’d On Chocolate

Yeah Maaan
Yeah Maaan

The other day I had a mad craving for chocolate, weird as I don’t really eat the stuff these days. I reckon it was brought upon by a coffee I had the day before, I don’t usually drink that either. It must’ve been a craving for caffeine, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Anyway, my wife eats a lot of 70% chocolate, but a while back she had tried 80%. She only managed to eat one square. She did this twice, with two different manufacturers. So, we had two almost complete bars of 80% in a cupboard. The stuff had been there for over a year, so was past the best date. I suddenly remembered this and thought to myself, i’ll have a go at that strong chocolate, it’s never going to get eaten anyway.

Here I am, munching on this 80%, thinking this isn’t too bad, I actually quite like it. Before an hour was up, i’d eaten the two bars – 180 grams. I initially felt a little bit wired so drank some water. About three hours later, I am high as a kite. Spaced out man, in a really weird way. Repetition was great, so was mumbling and walking in circles. I wasn’t sick, but had great bowel movements. This lasted until the next day, I didn’t get much sleep that night either.

The next day, I passed a stool which was pale and filled with fatty globs. It turns out this is due to caffeine overdose limiting bile flow. I may have also been slightly poisoned by Theobromine, which is the substance in cocoa that can kill dogs. Theobromine can also kill humans, if eaten in large enough quantity. Caffeine gets metabolised to it aswell inside the body. Theobromine breaks down into the same metabolites as marijuana, which explains the drug induced state. I must also be more susceptible than most, as key liver enzymes which break down such poisons usually stop negative reactions. I know I have a slow metabolism, so this is another reason for me to not eat too much chocolate.

I wrote an article on chocolate here.